Friday, December 6, 2013

The Conflict: Boy #1 vs Boy #2

HA! Who in the HELL ever thought that I, Julie, would ever have a conflict that involved two boys...I kinda love it. Being a girl is SO rough sometimes! Seriously. Here is my conflict...

Currently I am "talking to" two different guys.  They are the complete opposite of each other and I really like them both and I've been on 3 dates with each of them.  The issue is...I like little parts of each one and I wish I could mold them together to make 1 perfect man.  But no...instead I have 2 guys that are missing very important qualities that I need in a boyfriend.  For example:

Boy #1: 

  • Cute
  • Funny
  • Sarcastic
  • Dresses well
  • Business degree, back in school for pre-med
  • Sometimes an asshole
  • Such a perv
  • Sends me 3 texts in a row
  • No fireworks

Boy #2:

  • Sweet
  • Adorable
  • Gentlemany
  • Thoughtful
  • Funny
  • Military boy
  • Personality clicks perfectly with mine
  • In school
  • No job
  • No car
  • Kinda lazy
  • Lives in Philadelphia
  • Tried to hold MY hand (ew)
  • Fireworks

As you can see from my terrible inappropriate probably wrong and rude lists, these two boys are complete opposites.  The problem is that I like them both but I can't see myself with either of them long term.  Why you may ask?  Because...

There are a few things that are extremely important to me when dating.  The first thing is that the guy must be a gentleman.  I can NOT stand when a guy gets too pervy too soon.  I'm looking for the real thing...if you just want sex...please move along, that's not my style.  Once a guy crosses over that fine line I write them off.  Boy #1 is straddling that line and I don't like it at all, not one bit.  Boy #2 is a complete gentleman and that goes so far with me!

Another thing that is important to me while dating is making sure that my list of non negotiables are met.  While dating my last boyfriend of 3 years I learned that there are certain things I will not stand for in a relationship.  Once we broke up, my friends sat me down and we compiled a list of those things.
  1. Car
  2. Job
  3. No Drugs
  4. Talks nicely to Jules
  5. Goals
  6. Secure (No Jealousy)
  7. Sociable!!
  8. Family-oriented
  9. Wants kids
So there they are, my non negotiables.  Call me snobby, see if I care, but my perfect man will have all of those qualities.  I feel like I deserve to have someone who fits those things and anyone who doesn't, isn't good enough for me.  WOW...that sounds awful...

So back to the boys...what the hell am I supposed to do!? This post was not planned for today...I wanted to give some background before I threw this dilemma out but last night I went out with boy #1 and it threw me for a loop.  We made out like highschoolers in his car at the end of the date and there were no fireworks at all.  It surprised the hell outta me but you can't just make fireworks appear and those damn things are important for me to have.  So now what do I do?  Do I break it off with boy #1? Aww that kinda makes me sad, but boy #2 is great too! It's just...I don't know if I can see myself with him long term due to the fact that he has no job and he's kinda lazy, but we have a personality connection that I have not been able to find in a LONG time...ughhhhh someone help me!

And I bet most of you will say what my mom said when I called her last night after my date at 12AM....

Dump them both


  1. It appears you've had a few days since posting this to sort thru some of your feelings. Maybe you already came to some sort of understanding. I definitely see your dilemma. It is unfortunate that neither boy has it all, and clearly you do deserve to have it all. You really do. I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing them both or either of them if you still aren't ready to let go for some reason. If the sparks aren't their with boy 1 then they probably won't ever come unfortunately and that can be a major deal breaker. Spars are a must. Period. But he sounds so good on paper except the pervy part. There is a time and place to be pervy, down the line.... Boy 2: It's hard to come by a true connection and sometime you have to throw out some of your own preconceived ideas. But yes, car and job are big deal breakers. I guess you could date and see where it goes and eventually express concern over that fact.

    With all that said while your mom cracked me up, there is an element of truth in her words. I say date them both or one or neither but STILL continue to look for the man who has it all and doesn't requiring combining. He is out there!

    Love you and love this blog. I love hearing about your dates :)

    1. Thank you Emily! I am happy to say that boy 1 is no longer an option! :) I threw him away over the weekend. It's a GOOD thing! xoxo