Message Shaming Monday

I am going to start a new trend called Message Shaming Monday.  Every Monday I will try to post a message that I have received from an online dating site that I would consider a DON'T.  I am going to start this off with an interesting one that I received this weekend...

No, just...no.

The Conflict: Boy #1 vs Boy #2

HA! Who in the HELL ever thought that I, Julie, would ever have a conflict that involved two boys...I kinda love it. Being a girl is SO rough sometimes! Seriously. Here is my conflict...

Currently I am "talking to" two different guys.  They are the complete opposite of each other and I really like them both and I've been on 3 dates with each of them.  The issue is...I like little parts of each one and I wish I could mold them together to make 1 perfect man.  But no...instead I have 2 guys that are missing very important qualities that I need in a boyfriend.  For example:

Boy #1: 

• Cute
• Funny
• Sarcastic
• Dresses well
• Business degree, back in school for pre-med
• Sometimes an asshole
• Such a perv
• Sends me 3 texts in a row
• No fireworks

Boy #2:

• Sweet
• Adorable
• Gentlemany
• Thoughtful
• Funny
• Military boy
• Personality clicks perfectly with mine
• In school
• No job
• No car
• Kinda lazy
• Lives in Philadelphia
• Tried to hold MY hand (ew)
• Fireworks

As you can see from my terrible inappropriate probably wrong and rude lists, these two boys are complete opposites.  The problem is that I like them both but I can't see myself with either of them long term.  Why you may ask?  Because...

There are a few things that are extremely important to me when dating.  The first thing is that the guy must be a gentleman.  I can NOT stand when a guy gets too pervy too soon.  I'm looking for the real thing...if you just want sex...please move along, that's not my style.  Once a guy crosses over that fine line I write them off.  Boy #1 is straddling that line and I don't like it at all, not one bit.  Boy #2 is a complete gentleman and that goes so far with me!

Another thing that is important to me while dating is making sure that my list of non negotiables are met.  While dating my last boyfriend of 3 years I learned that there are certain things I will not stand for in a relationship.  Once we broke up, my friends sat me down and we compiled a list of those things.

1. Car
2. Job
3. No Drugs
4. Talks nicely to Jules
5. Goals
6. Secure (No Jealousy)
7. Sociable!!
8. Family-oriented
9. Wants kids

So there they are, my non negotiables.  Call me snobby, see if I care, but my perfect man will have all of those qualities.  I feel like I deserve to have someone who fits those things and anyone who doesn't, isn't good enough for me.  WOW...that sounds awful...

So back to the boys...what the hell am I supposed to do!? This post was not planned for today...I wanted to give some background before I threw this dilemma out but last night I went out with boy #1 and it threw me for a loop.  We made out like highschoolers in his car at the end of the date and there were no fireworks at all.  It surprised the hell outta me but you can't just make fireworks appear and those damn things are important for me to have.  So now what do I do?  Do I break it off with boy #1? Aww that kinda makes me sad, but boy #2 is great too! It's just...I don't know if I can see myself with him long term due to the fact that he has no job and he's kinda lazy, but we have a personality connection that I have not been able to find in a LONG time...ughhhhh someone help me!

And I bet most of you will say what my mom said when I called her last night after my date at 12AM....

Dump them both

A Single Beautiful Chunk

I took a few days to think about how I wanted to start this blog and I decided that instead of jumping right into throwing a boy under the bus, that I would start with myself.

So here I am, hi.

For those of you who are new to my life, my name is Julie aka Beautiful Chunk.  The name came into fruition a few years back when I decided that I no longer wanted to be fat girl pretty, I just wanted to be pretty.  I started a weight loss blog and came up with the name Beautiful Chunk...3 years later...here I am...a single Beautiful Chunk.

Back story:

My whole life I have always been boy crazy.  I always had a top 10 list of crushes and def still do.  Growing up large and in charge it was hard for me to find good any guys who liked me.  Having a top 10 list and having 0 of them pay me any attention was hard.  I always put myself out there because that's just the personality I was dealt, but to no avail.  Now, don't get me wrong, I almost always had a boy around but the problem was that they weren't good ones, they were almost always awful.  You know, the ones who were embarrassed for anyone to find out you hooked up or ones that were mean but you stuck around because they called you beautiful at 300lbs.  Yup...my past life.

Not anymore, I'm a different person now.

I've lost some weight, changed my fashion, got a new hair style, bought some 4in heels and slapped some expensive makeup on my face. Now I'm finally the type of girl I've always wanted to be: a confident girl. 

Can I just tell you how being confident changes your life?  The saying "confidence is the best accessory a girl can wear" is 100% true.  I'm so not kidding...ever since I changed my lifestyle it has been nothing but happiness.  I kicked the awful boyfriend of 3 years out of my apartment and haven't looked back.  I took a year off from the dating scene to get my shit together and heal before I jumped back into the boy pool.  About 6 months ago is when I really decided that I was ready to start dating again.  I joined Match.com and that's when my adventures began.  My social life has been insane ever since and I wouldn't change a thing.

The boys you will hear about in this blog will mostly be from the past 6 months but I will also include some stories from the past.  I will change all names and it will be completely anonymous (I'm not trying to ruin lives here)!  I will also post about my opinions on certain relationship things (holding hands...ew) as well as online dating and the sort.

I am very open to having guest posts by anyone who has a great story to share, so if this is something you're interested in doing...start getting your stories ready! :)

This post was a way to introduce Beautiful Chunk to everyone so that you could learn about my transformation and maybe understand a little better why I do what I do.  The new me makes decisions without thinking and takes each opportunity as an adventure and something that can help me transform into the girl I've always wanted to be.  I mean...come on...my motto is stolen from the HBO tv show GIRLS...

do it for the story

An Introduction

Have you ever seen the shows GIRLS and Sex and the City?  I hope you have because my dating life is pretty much summed up by 2 names: Hannah and Samantha.  It's a mix of high hopes and disappointment with a dash of trainwreck all mixed up in a scary bowl of Match.com eHarmony JDate POF all of the above internet dating.

So how the hell did I get the bright idea to throw all of my dirty dating laundry on the internet?  Mostly because every Monday morning after a great weekend, every phone call after a terrible date, every angry post date sub-tweet ...I hear the same phrase over and over again: you need to write a book.

So instead of writing an actual best seller, I decided to take the easy read: free approach and plop my business all over the internet via this blog.  I have so many stories to share, some good, some bad and some even considered a nightmare.  I also know that you all have stories as well and I want this blog to be an outlet to share our experiences.

So with that little introduction out of the way, it's time to get started. But first...I have to go through the long list of winners to see who will be my first post...it's going to be a long hilariously depressing night.